Thursday Thoughts on Anger & Discipline

Thursday Thoughts on Anger & Discipline

 

 

“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”  James 1:19-20

 

Hmmmm….  So basically, my anger doesn’t make things right?  Wow.  I really need some self-control, cuz I am NOT slow to anger when I see my children (or anybody for that matter) doing something wrong!  However, the ultimate goal, that they learn what is right and good, is not accomplished through that anger.  This a bit of an eye-opener for me.  My anger seems justified:  there’s something WRONG!  True.  But the anger doesn’t help make things right.

So what should I do?  Oh yeah, that first part:  “be quick to hear” and “slow to speak” stuff.  Yeah, I’m gonna need some help with those!  But what a difference they make. 

 I tried it out yesterday once or twice.  I just literally bit my tongue before correcting some bad behavior.  I took a deep breath and instead of accusing I asked questions and took some time to listen.  I asked some more leading questions and let the child  come to some conclusions on their own about their behavior {a technique I read about in Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay.}

It was much more effective than my usual blow-ups!  Now if I could just remember this!  I might need to cover my house in post-its with this verse as some good visual reminders!  😉

So if you come over and see little fluorescent pink squares covering every vertical surface, you’ll know why!  I’m trying to remember to follow James’ directions to bite my tongue, listen, and not get in a big huff when things aren’t right. 

My much-needed reminders!

 I have a feeling this might be effective advice for more than just dealing with my kids. Do you think we could get someone to sky write it for me?!?!?!

What are your thoughts on these verses?

 

2 Responses »

  1. I’ve also been working on my “yelling” issues. Sometimes it feels like the road from “peaceful” to “super angry” is really short. Both D and I are working on speaking softly instead of yelling. It’s hard to remember in the heat of the moment, and it’s even harder after a long frustrating day. I’m getting better, but it’s a process of re-training your brain to respond differently. Thanks for the reminder, I might have to try the sticky note thing too! :)

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